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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all working for NASA, were trying to figure out where to go on the next trip.




The brunette said, "We should go to Mars."


The redhead said, "We should go to the Moon."




The brunette and the redhead sat there arguing for a while. Suddenly, the blonde shouts, "Stop arguing! I know where the next expedition should be to ... the Sun!"




The brunette and the redhead looked at each other and started laughing. The brunette finally said, "You can't go to the Sun. You would melt or burn up before you even got close!"




The blonde said, "DUH... Not if you go at night!"
 
For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other.




A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed look on her face.




She called the teacher over and explained that no matter what she typed, nothing would happen. The teacher tried everything. By this time I was hiding behind my monitor and quaking red-faced.




I started to type, "Leave me alone!"




They both jumped back, silenced. "What the . . . " the teacher said.


I typed, "I said leave me alone!"




The kid got real upset. "I didn't do anything to it, I swear!"


It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. The conversation between them and HAL 2000 went on for an amazing five minutes.




Me: "Don't touch me!"




Her: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit your keys that hard."




Me: "Who do you think you are anyway?!" Etc. Finally, I couldn't contain myself any longer and fell out of my chair laughing.




After they had realized what I had done, they both turned beet red. Funny, I never got more than a C- in that class.
 

Two computer programmers are driving on a Highway. They switch on the radio and there is a warning: Please note that a car is driving on highway 75 against the traffic. The programmer near the driver looks at him and says: One? There are hundreds of them.

 
An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.




Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my


home computer." (Training stresses that we are "not the Soft-ware Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.)


Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"


Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized."




Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"


Customer:(proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it'?"


Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"


Customer: "After they were initialized all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"
 

Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success.

He decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General Motors.

The comparison went like this:

If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50.

In response to all this goading, GM responds:

"Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes twice a day?"

 
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